My friend, Paul
Mar 3rd, 2010 by Perry
I wrote this same essay almost 10 years ago (here), but time has passed and it’s due for an update. I can’t think of a better time to do that than on his birthday — March 3, 2010.
Paul and I met, as I said in that first essay, online in iLink Writers in the early 1990s. We’ve been in each other’s physical presence only two times during our entire friendship — once in 1995 in San Francisco for less than a week and once in Berlin in 2003 for about two weeks, when Paul invited me into his home. Back then I was much more committed to blogging than I am now, so I wrote about that 2003 visit with Paul rather extensively (beginning here and continuing for about 16 consecutive entries until this one).
But through the years we’ve become closer as friends as we’ve moved further apart physically. Perhaps the irony is that there’s an inverse correlation between physical proximity and being really close friends. I’m sure if he and I were confined in the same space for any prolonged period of time, we’d drive each other insane. He tolerates me best, and with just cause, in small doses.
When I think of him, it is with great fondness and profound admiration. I really like him and spending time with him, in spite of himself. I sense he feels the same about me, and I find that very rewarding.
Today is his 86th birthday, so I want to tell him this.
Paul, I hope you get what you want for your birthday, whatever that is. I have already gotten everything I could have possibly hoped for in return for the time I have spent being your friend. I look forward to whatever time we have left to share.
I love you, Paul, and I thank you for rewarding me with your friendship.
To those of you who may read this, I invite you to write your own essay about your friend Paul in the comments below. And even if you can’t get it completed on his birthday, I’m sure he will treasure reading how you describe your friendship with him, and it will give you a way to share your wishes for him. Thank you, if you take the time to do so.
Dearest Paul,
I think of you often, and I especially think of you on March 3rd, because that’s my birthday, too.
Much love,
Varda
Happy birthday, Paule!
We also met on the Internet, via a classical music mailing list, while he still lived in San Francisco. We developed our friendship on line, but we didn’t meet face-to-face until I travelled to Berlin and was the beneficiary of his gracious hospitality, as well as that of my good friend Maxe.
I travelled to Berlin several more times after that first meeting, and each time I was there, Paule was just as generous. I’ve not been back to Berlin in several years, and I regret I’ve not been able to visit with him.
Paule, I wish you strength and courage! And please give Maxe a good scratch from me…
Garry
Happy birthday, Paul! You have known me longer than anyone–since before I was born. To those who don’t know, Paul and my mom were lifelong friends, going back to their youth in El Paso. When I grew up I got to be Paul’s friend too. He tolerated and even nurtured my obsession with Wagner–taking me to a San Francisco Meistersinger (and putting me up), and then putting me up and putting up with me for two weeks in Berlin while I attended ALL the Wagner operas. Paul is without exception the most interesting person I have ever known. I’ve always been amazed that when I ask him about any cultural figure in whom I have an interest (such as Dorothy Parker), he either once knew that person or somehow knows all about them. He has introduced me to music and musicians that I will always love, and has remained a link for me to my family.
So… again, Happy Birthday, Paul! I hope you and Maxe do something very special to celebrate.
Much love always,
KL
Querido Pablo, You know, as I do, how deeply our lives are intertwined. I think of you constantly and care so much about you. A good birthday to you. Love, Paula
Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag Paul.
Our paths crossed at a most difficult time in my life more than 30 years ago. Without your kindness and understanding I would not have become the man I am today. So I am forever in your debt, even though I did fall asleep at my first Opera experience all those years ago, you so kindly took me to.
I am having a Toast to your health and may you bless this earth with your presence for many more years to come. Thank you.
Bernd
Hi Paul, hope you got my message confirming you as good bloke numero uno. I thought I would scrawl a few words here so that it becomes official!
Allright mite?
Anthony
PS Happy Birthday!
Dear Paul,
Ah, all those poor people who were deprived of as much of your presence as I wasn’t. I cherish the memories I have as your editor, violinist, and friend, and leave it to you to edit that first sentence.
Happy Birthday.
Tho we missed your birthday date we now send California greetings across the miles. It was our pleasure to meet you in Oakland when you visited Diane and Jerome Neuman. Now the four of us live in Rossmoor, Walnut Creek and often go out together. For us all, a hello on a spring day.
esta wolfram
Lieber Paul, Du wirst Dich sicher gewundert haben, daß ich nach unserem Telefonanruf nichts mehr von mir hören ließ, aber ich bin erst vor einigen Stunden von einem langen Krankenhaus-Aufenthalt zurück in meiner Wohnung angekommen, um festzustellen, dass ich Deinen Geburtstag “verschlafen” habe. Darum möchte ich Dir hier nachträglich aber umso herzlicher zu Deinem Geburtstag gratulieren und Perry für seine Mitteilung danken.
Ich wünsche Dir ein wunderschönes neues Lebensjahr mit vielen freudigen Erlebnissen und vor allem einen stabilen Gesundheitszustand.
Ich hatte im Januar öfter versucht, Dich anzurufen, aber es hat nicht geklappt. So werde ich Dir, wenn ich hier eingermaßen Ordnung geschaffen habe, einen Brief schreiben, damit wir uns doch endlich einmal wieder verabreden können. Alles Liebe für Dich. Deine Adi